What I am taking from 2020

Blink and you miss it, am I the only one that thinks 2020 FLEW through the day; every five minutes, I was flicking over the calendar month… probably because we were all at home ‘relaxing’…

Things that I am taking into 2020 include one thing that I didn’t expect at all; something that I classically avoided for the majority of my life and then discovered that it is a) free, b ) easy and c) doesn’t take all day – so there is always plenty of time to enjoy it…

Asking for help is a demonstration of strength

I have strong feelings, strong emotions and that makes me strong, but it also makes me overwhelmed by my own emotions. I get angry quickly and I am unable to to control how I should react to my own grumpiness… UNTIL… 2020 when it got too much; now I know when to allow myself to have a down day, to relax. Otherwise I will snap. And that isn’t good for anyone around me.

I started therapy, simply to find ways to solve my inability to control my emotions and I was feeling the shame, I felt the guilt and I didn’t know quite what to do. Until I clicked the ‘send’ email and I felt my life open up again; I felt confident and comfortable.

Talking through your life with someone doesn’t mean you have to cry every second, but instead, you’re able to relax into looking at life and seeing what has created the issues. The main one for me, was the need to be in control. I cannot control my emotions but I want to, I need to. So instead, we worked on being able to process my ‘need’ to be in control.

And that resulted in my remembering that, annoying, I am not invincible, but I am also worth riding the wave for.

Walking is addictive

It is free, it is just outside my door and then all of a sudden I ignored it; I have spent so much money on ‘at home work outs’ to get my exercise hit but ignored the space outside. Until now, I have walked 10k everyday in February and so far, I LOVE IT! I don’t notice the hills anymore and I feel like I am going to be bed with a clear head.

It is empowering.

Do you walk?

I cannot control how others react to what I have to say.

I am a people pleaser, I want to please everyone. This means that I double check everything I am going to do, however subconsciously… and it’s dangerous.

Until now; I have done SO much processing over the last few months – another story – but now; now; I can enjoy my space in life. Allowing people to have opinions or not and it has been unbelievably satisfying. I have so much more time to think about what to cook for supper now…

What are you taking into 2020?

I am happy to say that 2020 was a big year for me, because I had to sit with my feelings and process them. It’s been powerful and it’s been very stimulating!

Let me know what you think…