So, if you have done some back reading (not far though, don’t worry; you can also find it here), you will know that I have changed horse recently. I keep saying it’s only been 8 weeks, but actually it’s been 4 months. And it’s been a delight.But as anyone who has gone through a horse change will know, it has been an emotional rollercoaster.I have named the new horse – Bill – and the old horse – Frank – for their own anonymity; only fair, I didn’t get their permission to write…
1. Excitement
New horse, new world, new adventures, new memories to make. Everything feels like Cloud Nine and everything is suddenly fresh and exciting. I am excited to know what happens when I put my leg on, or lead my new horse out to the field. All my Christmases have come at once. There can be no downside.
2. Adjustment worries
I don’t know if I will be able to get on with this horse, Bill, as well as I did my dear Frank. Does he have all the same annoying but bearable traits? Does he barge out of the stable the same? Is he going to ignore my commands as much? Is he going to be completely different? Have I made a massive mistake?
3. Relief
Oh, I am so relieved that Bill isn’t the nightmare horse. He actually listens when I ask him to do things. Buying the 3rd horse I saw wasn’t a mistake, two fingers up to the old wife’s tail that you can only buy the 100th horse you’ve seen, and it has to do a bow for you when you arrive at the yard. You can have a success story that doesn’t fit that criteria. Yes. Small victories.
4. Guilt
Oh, I should have stayed with the Frank, even if he was broken – maybe I should have spent the thousands on surgery, oh I feel bad. I hope heaven is good enough. Oh Frank, don’t look down on me like that – you would like Bill I promise… Oh would you? Oh I don’t know anymore.
5. Motivation
Yes, new beginnings, new fun, new goals, new aims. I’m going to go to the Olympics this year, I am going to smash everything I can. Obviously we are going to win, because we are invincible and great. I think I even like dressage…
6. Regrets
Oh dear. I should not be so excited. Frank will roll in his grave. He will be sad at the fact that I am excited to get on with the new horse. Am I moving on too soon? Would Frank be moving on if he was in my position? I feel sorry for the past owner of Bill, I want to give him back – so she doesn’t miss out on him. Ah. What should I do? Oh dear. What? Why? How? Oh gosh. I like this Bill too much maybe? Someone send help.
7. Exhaustion
I am so tired. I have been getting used to the steed and now I can’t even get my leg over. I am so exhausted and just want to go to sleep and skip to the time when I know all the good and bad parts of the horse. There must be some – nothing has come up yet, but there must be something. Oh please, someone follow me with a bed I need a nap.
8. Relaxation
*Phew, sigh* I am so relaxed. I don’t even need caffeine or any muscle relaxant. I know what Bill does and I love it all. Nothing has gone wrong, nothing has faltered and man, am I happy. Frank would be so delighted for me, wouldn’t he? Oh Bill is great. I can finally relax and just enjoy life again. Game on.
9. Nerves
Maybe I spoke too soon? Nothing has sparked this, but I can sense it. You know when you just think you know. Oh dear, oh I am panicked. Am I wrong? Oh please say I am wrong. I am going to use a dressage stick today in my lesson – oh help. Is this wrong? The nerves are back. Help!
10. Love
Oh it’s happened. I have fallen, fallen deeply, passionately, and completely in love. I cannot find a fault. He is so keen to please. I am so keen to please him. Frank is happy in heaven, and I am finally happy on Earth! And Bill travels in a lorry without falling over and enjoys cuddles. I cannot fault him. I can do whatever I like and he is cool. Everyone sings his praises, oh how happy I am. And he is basically my entire Instagram feed…which is quite something… You’ll find me sleeping in Bill’s stable – just so I can’t get enough.